Which Abbott Elementary Character Are You?

The Abbott Elementary cast, sorted

Abbott Elementary is a workplace comedy, and the thing it understands best is that most workplaces run on a few people who care too much. Nobody on this staff has the budget, the supplies or the support they need. Each of them has decided, in a different way, to keep going anyway. The comedy comes from how differently they cope.

The central tension is between Janine and nearly everyone. Janine Teagues is relentlessly optimistic, to the point that her optimism can be a form of denial. She will launch a fundraiser before she has asked whether anyone wants one, as she does in season 1 with supplies for Barbara. Her colleagues love her and are exhausted by her. Gregory Eddie is the sharper foil: a quiet, careful newcomer who suspects effort is not always enough, and who slowly finds he cannot help caring.

The veterans are a different kind of argument. Barbara Howard and Melissa Schemmenti have years of experience and little patience for newcomers who think they have invented teaching. Barbara runs on dignity and routine. Melissa runs on connections, volume and loyalty to her neighborhood. They are right more often than they are thanked, which is one of the show's quiet jokes. And then Jacob Hill sits between sincerity and insecurity, earnest enough to be mocked and kind enough that the mocking never quite sticks.

Ava Coleman is the show's great wild card. She is the principal, which should make her the center of responsibility, and she treats it as a stage. But when the school is truly threatened, she sometimes shows up in ways nobody predicts. Mr. Johnson, the custodian, operates in another dimension entirely. He is the one person in the building who seems entirely at ease, and who occasionally says the wisest thing anyone has said all day.

What makes the ensemble work is that nobody is only one thing. Janine's optimism is also stubbornness. Gregory's caution is also care. Barbara's authority is also fear of being replaced, and Ava's vanity is also, occasionally, nerve. The best fan arguments about Abbott are not about who is funniest but about who is actually right, and the show seems pleased to leave that open. That is the thing this quiz tries to respect.

This quiz covers seasons 1 to 4. Season 6 is airing now on ABC, and the quiz leaves the newer seasons out so it can stay confident about what it claims. The questions are about ordinary work life: budgets, bosses and bad days. Answer the way you really behave when no one is grading you.

All 7 possible results

Janine Teagues The Optimist

You believe in the mission so hard that you will build the fix yourself.

Gregory Eddie The Careful Realist

You keep your guard up, and quietly become the one who holds it together.

Barbara Howard The Veteran

You have seen every reform come and go, and you know what still works.

Melissa Schemmenti The Neighborhood Boss

You know everybody, you get things done, and you do not suffer fools.

Jacob Hill The Earnest One

You are eager, thorough and sincere, even when the room is not.

Ava Coleman The Principal

You treat the job as a stage, and you rise to the occasion more often than anyone expects.

Mr. Johnson The Wildcard

You are unbothered, quietly wise, and impossible to read.

How this quiz scores you

Each answer carries points toward one to three staff members. Your points are added up across all ten questions, and the character with the highest total is your result. Scoring follows how each character behaves in seasons 1 to 4.

Spoilers: Spoilers for major plot points in seasons 1 to 4. Later seasons are not covered.

Sources

• Abbott Elementary, official ABC page: about the show and cast
• Abbott Elementary: The Story So Far, ABC

An unofficial fan quiz. Not affiliated with or endorsed by the makers of Abbott Elementary.